Free yourself from emotional bondage — it is not worth sacrificing your mental and emotional well-being for relationships that are one-sided or draining

Shifting from negativity to positivity is perhaps one of the most daunting journeys in life. Through personal experience, I have realised that while everyone advises us to “stay positive,” “be patient,” and “trust that things will change,” the real challenge lies much deeper than mere words or passing motivation.

Negativity is deeply ingrained in all of us, often in ways we don’t fully comprehend. Our first thoughts are frequently clouded with doubt, fear, or hesitation — rarely are they purely positive or hopeful. Why is this so? Because we are socialised to see life through the lens of scarcity, struggle, and comparison. From a young age, we are taught to strive, compete, and measure our worth through external achievements.

As children, our needs are simple and our joys are spontaneous. But as we grow older, our desires become more layered, shaped by societal expectations and personal ambitions. Life, however, does not always align with these aspirations. We realise early on that it does not hand us everything we long for. Over time, the widening gap between desire and reality moulds our learned behaviour, breeding compromises, self-doubt, and the belief that life is full of unavoidable limitations.

We encounter strained relationships, financial hardships, career uncertainties, and a fiercely competitive world. Friends change, perceptions shift, and our notions of permanence are tested. Life teaches us many lessons — often the hard way. We come to understand that even people we once believed were truly “ours” may, in fact, be part of a largely transactional world, where emotional loyalty is rare and self-interest often prevails.

So, what do we do?

We must carve out a life for ourselves — consciously, courageously, and without fear of solitude. It is in those solitary moments that we begin to discover who we truly are. Strength does not always roar; sometimes, it whispers quietly in the background, guiding us through chaos.

First, strengthen your emotional quotient. You cannot constantly seek emotional validation from others. It’s an exhausting cycle that leaves you unfulfilled. Begin by recognising your triggers and learning to self-soothe. As Sri Aurobindo profoundly said:

“Emotion must not govern the intellect, nor the intellect stifle the soul’s deeper feelings; all must harmonise in the light of the Spirit.”

Let your feelings exist, but don’t let them control you. Be rational, be practical. Understand the emotional needs of others — not to absorb them, but to protect your own peace. With that understanding, liberate yourself. Create healthy distances. Free yourself from emotional bondage — it is not worth sacrificing your mental and emotional well-being for relationships that are one-sided or draining.

Second, master a skill with passion. Learning should not feel like a burden; it must be a fulfilling pursuit. Whether it’s writing, coding, painting, or gardening, immerse yourself in something that sparks joy. Learning can become your greatest anchor in uncertain times. As Osho beautifully reminds us:

“Learn as if you have all the time in the world — relaxed, playful, joyous. Then the learning becomes not just a means, but an end in itself.”

In a world obsessed with instant results and quick success, find peace in becoming a student of life. Be curious. Let learning become a lifestyle, not a task.

Third, and most importantly, invest in building yourself. That is the greatest and most reliable investment you can make. This includes developing your character, expanding your wisdom, and nurturing your spiritual and emotional foundations.

God has created you with immense potential. Strive every day to reach the highest version of yourself — not out of competition, but out of love for who you are capable of becoming. Be grateful for your body, your mind, your breath — for you already have everything you need to perform, flourish, and inspire. The journey from negativity to positivity is not about blind optimism. It is not about denying pain, or pretending that everything is fine. It is about conscious evolution — living with awareness, with resilience, and with gratitude.

It is about showing up for yourself each day, even when the world feels heavy. It is about refusing to let bitterness win, choosing instead to move forward with faith, and a belief that light always follows darkness.

— The author’s views are personal. (The author is a civil servant at the Ministry of Defence and a spiritual speaker)