EDITS | Friday, October 23, 2009 | Email | Print | 
Maharaja fallen on bad times
Sunanda K Datta-Ray
It was a novel experience flying from Delhi to London in the lavatory of Air India’s Boeing 777-300/ER. I had to because none of the reading lights on Flight AI 111 were working on Monday, October 19. The plane being plunged in darkness, the only place I could read was on the toilet with the cover down. The lavatory was bathed in light. Astonishingly, it was also clean.
Since I fly this route several times a year I was not at all surprised that neither the captain nor any of the crew mentioned the failure, leave alone apologise for it. I got to know only because I asked. A stewardess told me then that the calling bells had also collapsed. That did not worry me for I know that it would have made no difference if the calling system had been working. It often seems to me that Air India’s staff are trained to be deaf to the sound of bells and blind to blinking lights. Unless, of course, the bells and lights come from the non-paying dignitaries who are routinely upgraded to business or first class.
Perhaps it shouldn’t surprise me either that the Committee of Secretaries, led by the Cabinet Secretary, has cleared a largesse of Rs 5,000 crore for Air India. After all, it’s their private vehicle. Given the gusto with which Mr Praful Patel is pitching his case to the Ministerial Group on Civil Aviation headed by Mr Pranab Mukherjee, the money may even be handed over before this is printed. It will be more money down the drain.
Two conversations come to mind in this context.
The first was with the late JRD Tata who told me that nothing had hurt him more than Morarji Desai’s decision to deny him even an ordinary director’s slot on Air India’s board. Desai cut India’s nose to spite JRD’s face. Air India was one of the world’s finest airlines so long as it was a Tata enterprise. There was “an air about India” (as Bobby Kooka’s brilliant slogan had it) when the Maharaja twinkled among the lights of Piccadilly.
The more recent conversation was with Singapore’s Minister Mentor, Mr Lee Kuan Yew. I had asked him why Singapore abruptly withdrew its bid for a chunk of Air India shares. He replied candidly that his people had realised it would be sending good money after bad. Investing in some equity would not give Singapore managerial control. That would remain in the hands of vested interests — politicians, bureaucrats and trade unionists — with no regard for efficiency, productivity or image. They are out only for what they can get.
Suggesting that Air India should be wound up, Mr Lee proposed an alternative. Let India have an Air Force One like the Americans for the President and Prime Minister, he said, and Air Force Two and Three for the pampered others (Ministers, MPs, MLAs and civil servants) who fatten on the tax-payer’s hard-earned money. With these categories removed, Air India should then be run as a viable commercial undertaking.
Instead, the recent directive that no one travelling on Government business (meaning junkets for which you and I pay) should use any other carrier has allowed Air India to destroy its last remaining attraction. Taking advantage of this captive clientele, it has jacked up prices. I travel Air India so frequently only because it’s cheaper than other airlines. It probably isn’t so any longer now that compulsory passengers guarantee earnings, no matter how appalling the service.
That puts paid to the Secretaries’ committee’s hope of restructuring to cut costs and raise revenue. There’s no need to do either when no matter what the fluctuations of the market, passengers are assured. The very fact that we have a Civil Aviation Minister means we will ensure that public sector civil aviation will never be abolished. Pan Am, Swissair and other famous names may disappear but Mr Patel can be relied on to defend his parish and protect his job, even though Air India is the world’s laughing stock.
Consider episodes from its recent history. A captain and purser came to fisticuffs in the air over a stewardess; another stewardess sued the airline for sacking her for being fat. More than 20,000 employees refused food if they were deprived of a paisa of the productivity-linked incentives that tot up to a hefty Rs 1,400 crore while losses are at least Rs 5,000 crore. A ‘mass sick leave’ grounded 155 aircraft. Mr Patel hints darkly at internal sabotage by “some people in the company” who opposed the merger with Indian Airlines.
The result is a flying ruins. Some seats wouldn’t push back on my last flight back from London, some wouldn’t remain straight. When a lunch tray toppled over because the drop table tilted, the hostess propped it up with old newspapers. Ashtrays were clumsily sealed with different kinds of sticky tape and stick-on labels. The entire panel under the lavatory sink swung wildly. Plans to acquire new aircraft remind me of France’s Georges Clemenceau exclaiming when shown the embryonic Lutyens-Baker capital after visiting the ruins of seven earlier Delhis, “And what a magnificent ruin this will make!”
True, fuel costs and airport fees have increased. But indiscipline and inefficiency have gone up even more. Mr Naresh Goyal’s abject surrender with “tears in the eyes” over Jet’s 1,900 cabin crew didn’t help. Air India and Jet should coordinate policy on manpower if either wishes to survive.
My October 19 flight being half empty, I stretched out on three seats and enjoyed a snooze after my reading was done. Then I went back to my cubby hole to continue with the book. But it was not to be. Someone had ‘used’ the toilet while I was sleeping. The basin was full of vomit or, perhaps, it was what should have been under my seat. I fled into the darkness of the cabin, groped my way to the galley and asked the two stewards and a stewardess chatting animatedly there for a cup of tea. One ran the hot water tap, another produced a tea bag, the third passed me the cup. The marvel was that none even looked in my direction or paused in the flow of excited conversation. They were discussing the price of Mercedes cars.
-- sunandadr@yahoo.co.in
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