The curl of civility

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The curl of civility

Saturday, 07 December 2019 | Pioneer

The curl of civility

The Apostrophe Society may have wound up but we still need the punctuation mark to make sense of each other

Whatsapp or Wassup or What’s up? Chances are that the first two words would be understood as an endearing form of social communication than the friendly and decidedly sincere warmth of the latter. And in a world dependent on texting in 140 words, who wants the complexity of a curl with a knobhead? So long as it sounds all right. That then is the tragedy of the apostrophe in times of instant and individual grammar — the finesse of civility, of indicating possession, ownership and holding up missing words, yielding to the mass plurality of acceptance. McDonald’s is not about ownership of a certain type of burger but all burgers, or McDonalds. Perhaps, this is why one of the oldest crusaders for correct punctuation, retired journalist John Richards, decided to disband the 18-year-old Apostrophe Protection Society. In a sad reflection on the communication skills of the modern world, the 96-year-old founder and chairman said that despite his best efforts he lost the battle for proper usage of the much-abused apostrophe. Attributing the reasons for his defeat to “ignorance and laziness present in modern times,” Richards in a way signalled the end of conscientious living to a dumbed down anti-intellectualism. However, this abuse of the apostrophe is not new and for decades purists in the UK and the US have fumed over its misuse by stores which sell “apple’s and pear’s.” Towns and stores around the world are quietly dropping it to make things “simpler” for the common folks. For instance Birmingham dropped it from all road signs in 2009 so that its staff wouldn’t have to deal with “complaints about grammar” and British book retailer Waterstone’s decided in 2012 to drop the apostrophe from its name so that it reads “Waterstones” to “suit its digital presence.”

Nothing can justify playing with grammar and punctuation because they are intended to clarify meaning. The same words used in the same order mean two very different things when punctuated differently. For instance, a sign to advertise the goodies “Pies & Burgers” can be distorted to “Pie’s & Burgers”, thereby implying that the burger stand belongs to a man named Pie. Or “we’re number one” can change to “were number one” if the apostrophe is dropped. Improper punctuation can misrepresent you, spoil that first impression and make you appear uneducated and unprofessional, especially to a prospective employer. Need a Wren & Martin anyone? If not, Richards, whose website registered a 600-fold increase in hits after his decision, will keep that alive at least. His next mission: Commas.

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