A fight for dreams

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A fight for dreams

Monday, 07 October 2019 | Sadaf Zareen

A fight for dreams

Naseema, a resident of Akbarpur village, Bihar, has become an inspiration for the native women as she fought against all odds to educate her daughters. By Sadaf Zareen

It is ironical that the society reveres and worships goddesses, and at the same time, subjects women to all forms of oppression. They have been looked at as the weaker section. However, women like Rani Laxmi Bai, Razia Sultana, Aruna Asif Ali, Kiran Bedi, Pratibha Devi Singh Patil, and thousands of other women are examples that women are not meant to be incarcerated behind the walls of their homes as they have the same courage as men. If they can be loving and compassionate, they could be fierce and protective too.

One such example has been set by Naseema, a resident of Akbarpur village in Rohtas district of Bihar, who has not only faced the sting of being married and widowed at an early age, but has also educated her daughters, leaving behind the orthodox views of the society she lives in. All women who consider their life as a failure, can learn from her struggles.

Being the only sister among seven brothers and belonging to a poor family, Naseema was 12 when her family married her to a man twice her age. She did not have the slightest inkling about her marriage then. Her illiterate parents had clinged on to old customs and traditions. She says, “I was very happy when I became a bride because I did not know what marriage was. I just knew I was getting a lot of new clothes and jewellery as wedding presents. When my in-laws arrived, I saw a dark middle-aged man in the room. I got very scared. I was not aware about marital relationships.”

A few months after the marriage, Naseema got pregnant. She came to her mother’s home during delivery time, and refused to go back to her husband’s house. Soon after she gave birth to a daughter, her husband passed away in a railway accident. Prior to his death, she had been preparing herself mentally to go back to her in-laws.

By the time she turned 18, her family married her off to Mohammed Abdul from Palamu, Jharkhand. She would look after the family with the income generated from her sewing and embroidery work. As Naseema grew older, she became a more sensible individual. Life was good with her daughter and husband at her new home. She gave birth to two more daughters. But fate had a different plan. Her husband’s health began to deteriorate, and the responsibility of the family fell upon her shoulders because he couldn’t work. Soon, she gave birth to her fourth daughter, even though the family expected a son. Gradually, her husband’s health worsened, and in a few years, she was widowed once again.

Naseema returned to her parents’ home with her daughters. People made jokes about her fate. Her parents also died in quick succession, but she did not give up on life. She started sewing clothes in order to nurture her four young daughters. “Being widowed twice and with the death of my parents, I was devastated. But I was determined to give my daughters a bright future,” says Naseema. Though, she was illiterate, she always knew the importance of education. She took it upon herself to educate all her daughters under any circumstances.

A few years later, when all her brothers got married, it became difficult for Naseema and her daughters to continue living with them because of lack of space in the house. She started living in a hut outside a relative’s house. She somehow eked out a living for herself and her daughters by stitching people’s clothes. Naseema was elated and relieved when a social worker and a local teacher of the village, Zarina Khatoon, helped her get a cook’s job in a government school. The teacher also arranged for her daughter’s education and their uniforms. Her employment at the school not only enabled her to generate more income for her family, but it also helped her take care of her daughters’ education.

Today, Naseema’s daughters are well-educated and hence, receiving good marriage proposals. The daughters are proud of their mother who has never let them feel the absence of their father. “Due to lack of education, I had to face many adversities in life. But I was determined to give them education first before giving their hands for marriage. Zarina madam was quite instrumental in fulfilling these wishes of mine,” she says.

For a woman, living alone in society has never been easy. Naseema had to endure physical and mental torture at every step of her life. But she fought against all odds and inspired her daughters to live with self-respect. She, who has steadfastly stood up against such hardships, has become an inspiration for other women in her village today. Despite being illiterate, she has proved that by fighting against the stereotypical thoughts and restrictions that the society imposes on women, they can still move ahead in life by fighting against the struggles and emerge victorious.

—Charkha Features

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