Daddy’s day out

|
  • 0

Daddy’s day out

Saturday, 15 June 2019 | Siddhika Prajapati

Daddy’s day out

Whether it’s mastering new recipes for tiffin options or tying their daughters’ ponytails, single fathers have their game spot on, says Siddhika Prajapati

When we say single parent, the automatic assumption that many people make is that we are talking about a woman. However, there are dads who could be in contention for the best single parent award, if these were ever to be handed out. Single fathers can manage their homes and workplaces dexterously. Of course, the job of a parent is not easy and that of a single one naturally means a multiplication of responsibilities.

Golmaal actor Tusshar Kapoor, who is a single parent, believes that embracing fatherhood has made him more selfless and organised. “After the birth of Laksshya, my daily routines have changed drastically. I have become more focussed on work and also towards my child. I have scheduled my timetable according to my son’s routine,” says the proud father who will soon star in the forthcoming ALTBalaji series Booo: Sabki Phategi.

Single fathers go through similar hassles as single mothers, the only difference being that they are hardly talked about as we tend to celebrate motherhood and give it primacy. They too have to deal with their child’s tantrums and unending demands single-handedly. The absence of a companion leaves many single parents with a gnawing sense of self doubt about whether they are up to the task or not. It was an unfortunate summer in 1992, when London-based Dr Prakram Kothari lost his wife. Ever since, he has been a sole care-giver for his 12-year-old son and six-year-old daughter. He says, “As a single parent, it becomes extremely difficult to manage work and home since both consume time and are essential for the stability and well-being of the family. The job does not come with a fixed set of rules and directions — irrespective of whether it is single parent or a couple. A secure job, financial stability, close relatives living in the vicinity and their support — all play a crucial role, when you are single and have kids to look after.”

However, issues still surface especially, when one is the father of a girl. The common notion that a father is less likely to act ‘mommy’ is a construct of the male-dominated society. Moreover, it also suggests that a girl will always need a mother since it might be difficult for a daughter to share certain issues with her father.

Delhi-based marketing specialist Aamit Sharma, father of four-year-old Aruhi, who’s been living with him for a year, disagrees. He makes sure to do everything for his daughter that a mother would do. “Beginning from buying her clothes and accessories, dressing her up every morning before school to plaiting her hair, I do it all,” he says. Sharma adds that since his daughter is quite young, she doesn’t have anything to share as yet. However, he wants to make sure to raise her in a manner that he could be the first go-to person for her in future “without feeling any hesitation or deprivation that she doesn’t have a mother.”

Arvind Nanda, CEO of a steel construction company, who fathers two boys, 16 and 23, feels that parenthood is not about numbers but a balance of love and devotion, confidence and pride as well as friendship and guidance. Even though he doesn’t deny the fact that the responsibility is doubled without a partner, he says, “Becoming a father of two boys, managing home chores, social life and travel were not really a big issue as I enjoyed it all and was fully engrossed in it. In fact, I feel being a single father made me a better person subconsciously.”

Kothari agrees with Nanda that having the sole responsibility of a single parent has its own pleasure. He says, “Despite issues or maybe because of them we become stronger since we are aware that we will stand against all those pitfalls together. I can see it now, how it brought all three of us closer since we have grown and learnt things together.” Today, even at 64, Arvind feels young and energetic because of his kids and work. He is proud of himself that his children don’t feel the need for a second parent. “I am a blessed father as my children have never even once expressed the need or desire to have another parent. In fact, this has organised all the aspects of my life to a level where I am able to give my best, especially to my children,” he says.

Kothari recommends that every single father should ensure that their children should not feel that their fathers are sacrificing anything for them. “Initially when the circumstances change and the job of parenting falls on one person, children are the ones who bear the brunt of the change the most. However, they might not share their views with the parent for the fear of troubling him. Under such a scenario, it becomes important to keep the lines of communication open and provide them with love, affection and advice,” he adds. Clearly it is not a matter of gender but that of the heart that makes for a whole parent.

Sunday Edition

CAA PASSPORT TO FREEDOM

24 March 2024 | Kumar Chellappan | Agenda

CHENNAI EXPRESS IN GURUGRAM

24 March 2024 | Pawan Soni | Agenda

The Way of Bengal

24 March 2024 | Shobori Ganguli | Agenda

The Pizza Philosopher

24 March 2024 | Shobori Ganguli | Agenda

Astroturf | Lord Shiva calls for all-inclusiveness

24 March 2024 | Bharat Bhushan Padmadeo | Agenda

Interconnected narrative l Forest conservation l Agriculture l Food security

24 March 2024 | BKP Sinha/ Arvind K jha | Agenda