Heal the world with empathy

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Heal the world with empathy

Monday, 29 July 2019 | Rajyogi Brahmakumar Nikunj ji

Heal the world with empathy

If we look at ourselves closely, we will find more faults and flaws in us than in anyone else. When we face our own shortcomings, the anger against others disappears, says Rajyogi Brahmakumar Nikunj Ji

Mother Teresa had once said, “If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive.” Like her, many saints, gurus and spiritual teachers have often believed that if someone misbehaves with you, talks ill about you or indulges in mud-slinging about your character, you should forgive the person and forget about his misdemeanour. They further advise that one should react to such negativity with friendly behaviour and think of working on the self instead of retaliating against such people.

But here, the question that most of us would naturally raise is that if we forgive such evil-doers’ maligning acts, will it not allow them more space to abuse? Will we not be letting many mad bulls or elephants run amok and create havoc? Wouldn’t it encourage more such nefarious and wicked acts? Before we come to any conclusions, there is one question that we all need to ask ourselves — is it that easy to forgive someone as it is portrayed to be? Majority of us would say “no,” because the ability to forgive others depends on how honest we are with ourselves. Have we journeyed through our lives pure, perfect and clean without letting a single corruptive thought emerge from our minds or engaging in any wrong action or words? If we would look at ourselves closely and honestly, we would find more faults and flaws in ourselves than in anyone else. So, then how can we not forgive another person? It’s only when we face our own shortcomings, that the anger against others disappears. In the past, we have all acted wrongly at one or other point, either because we were unaware of what is right or out of fear or a misunderstanding. Looking back, most of us regret about many things that we have said or done. Only with time and knowledge do we realise what is right and begin to make amendments. Just by a desire to do this, we begin this process of our own forgiveness. If this process is to grow, we need to learn to forgive others. We cannot condemn others and excuse ourselves for the same actions which we might have also done in our past but refuse to accept as wrong. This is termed as cheating and the universally-applicable law of Karma does set into motion.

There can be many answers to the questions raised by individuals against forgiveness. However, what we should understand as a human being is that if a person’s tendency to misbehave is within tolerable limits and the person expresses sincere regrets and apologies when he is confronted and he realises his mistake then we should forgive and forget his deeds. And we should take more preventive, non-violent, non-aggressive steps that do not downgrade our worth as a human. And we should remember that vengeance, vindictiveness, violence and wrong-doing are not the way a noble person behaves. The only course open to a gentleman is — raising the conscience of the people, following the legal remedy provided by the collective will of the people, educating and influencing the public opinion, taking the safety and security measures and having alacrity so that the wickedness cannot prevail and wrong us again. But if the same acts are repeated even after a person is forgiven quite a few times, then the public opinion and the law should take their own course.

Remember, the power to forgive comes from compassion, which means we should peacefully move forward towards what is better and what is good. But before we start to forgive others, we must learn to forgive ourselves, else the process of releasing the burden would neither begin nor progress. Forgiving ourselves and moving towards self-realisation means letting go of your past. But it could also mean not making the same mistakes over and over again, and not discovering convenient ways to excuse ourselves. A person who has stoned his own heart against others can’t feel even god’s strength, forgiveness and compassion. Hence, if we want to be forgiven, then we must be willing to forgive first. Because the one who forgives first not only proves his justice, but also his love and humane emotions. Hence, it is rightly said, “A life well lived is your best revenge.” So, instead of focussing on your wounded emotions and thereby, giving the person who caused you pain, you should learn to look for love, beauty, empathy and kindness around you. This will not only make you a better person but make the world a better place as well.

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