Why do we need examples of Deepika Padukone’s depression battle or Sushant Singh Rajput’s suicide to remind ourselves that mental health is important? Experts tell Ayushi Sharma how this issue can be addressed permanently

Naa police ko pata chala, naa Joy ke baap ko. Sab soch rahe hain suicide hai. Post-mortem report mein aaya hai maut ka karan — intense pressure on wind pipe, resulting in choking (asphyxiation). Woh bewakuf soch rahe hain gale pe pressure padne ki wajah se marr gaya par pichle kuch saalon se jo deemag par pressure pad raha hai, uska kya? Woh toh report mein hai hi nahi. Yeh engineers bade chalak hote hain, aisi koi machine hi nahi banayi jo deemag ka pressure naap sake. Banate toh pata chal jata ki yeh suicide nahi murder hai...”

Aamir Khan’s dialogue from the film 3 Idiots (2009) couldn’t explain the reality of actor Sushant Singh Rajput’s life better. Once again, money and fame couldn’t buy happiness. Once again, the reality has proven to be way different than what it seems from the outside. Once again, good mental health and inner peace have proven to be the need of the hour.

There have been endless conversations and debates around mental depression. However, until and unless we come across an example of a big name getting affected, it doesn’t hit us as much. And social media, after Sushant’s death, is evidence of how badly we have been reminded of this. We forget how important it is to address this issue as it has become as life-threatening as a critical disease. This certainly shows that no matter what the unprecedented scale of human tragedy around us, people never learn. They often forget that every other person is fighting a battle that they know nothing about. Hence, it raises a question about instilling this sensitivity permanently in people. We don’t need examples of Deepika Padukone’s depression battle or Sushant’s suicide!

Dr Anuneet Sabharwal, a psychiatrist, tells us that it is very important for all of us to make sure that we “listen before we speak.” Allowing people to openly talk about their feelings, emotions and struggles without judging them will create a safe environment for them. We all have so much going on in our lives on regular basis — not to forget the ongoing Coronavirus pandemic. Experts suggest that if we take the time to be kind to other people, we can reap the emotional dividends. It can really make a difference, especially for people who are vulnerable or struggling.

Therapists believe that mental pain appears to be less dramatic than the physical one. However, it is more common and also much harder to bear. Research suggests that approximately one in five adults experience some form of mental health issue in a year. “The topic of mental illness has been difficult to openly discuss over the years. Many people still view mental health with a stigma. It’s high time that we move mental health to the forefront of conversation topics. Talking about it on a regular basis will normalise it. Encouraging people to seek professional help is important,” says Dr Anuneet.

The lives we lead and the experiences we go through have an effect on our minds and on our emotions. Who defines what is normal and what’s crazy? “The fear of being judged, shame, lack of insight and unavailability stop one from seeking emotional and mental succour. Let us remind each other that our mental health is in our own hands and that there should be no reason for us to seek anyone’s approval or the so-called ‘validation’ to be able to make decisions and lead a meaningful life with some support. So if you’re concerned about your mental health, don’t hesitate to seek advice as it is you who has to take the first step,” feels Dr Tabassum Sheikh, Clinical Psychologist, Apollo TeleHealth.

As a person who has had a lived experience with mental illness, Deepika Padukone, in an Instagram post, stressed on the importance of reaching out. She reminded us that it is important to talk, communicate and seek help. “Remember, you are not alone! We are in this together. And most importantly, there is hope,” she wrote. Deepika has been working consistently to help people suffering from depression over the past few years.

There is always a ray of hope in every adverse situation. “The more you represent something on screen, the more it gets normalised. The survivors need to understand that they are not alone. Together, we can win this fight!” shares Dr Shanu Srivastava, senior psychologist, Indian Spinal Injuries Centre, New Delhi.

When it comes to ranking of different countries, according to the World Health Organisation, India is the most depressed country in the world, followed by China and the USA. These are the most affected nations by anxiety, schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. Indian cricketer Robin Uthappa had also recently revealed that he battled clinical depression and suicidal thoughts for nearly two years during his career, a phase when cricket was perhaps the only thing that kept him from “jumping off a balcony.” He shared that we need to speak about what we feel within. We are stronger than we know. It is completely okay to not be okay, and fine to be not fine.

There are many more examples of people who didn’t want depression to define them and become their identity. Alia Bhatt’s sister Shaheen Bhatt was diagnosed with clinical depression when she was just 12 years old. Shaheen, in her book — I’ve Never Been (un) Happier — shared her struggle of battling this mental illness. She chose to write about her journey with depression, experiences and how she has learnt from it. Alia featured in a film, Dear Zindagi, which was about the process of therapy and getting back into the groove of life.

Psychiatrist Dr Anju Sharma, Sound and Energy Master and the Founder of Musical Healing Band — Sound of Infinity, tells us that with the lockdown and the prevailing scenario of gloom and doom, many people have been facing troubles in relationships, losing money and jobs and staring at uncertainty, which impact the mental peace of a person. She says, “The basic process of healing will always be communication. It’s important to let the negative emotions out.”

So what should we do when we feel low, have suicidal thoughts racing through our mind and have no one to share our feelings or understand them? If you are struggling to open up about your mental health, here are a few tips from experts:

• One of the main causes of depression is the feeling of being misunderstood. Even when you are around people, it leads to a terrible ongoing loneliness. If you feel that ‘nobody understands me’, extricate yourself from the situation and take a moment to slow down. Take a few deep breaths, perhaps even try chanting aum. One should feel the vibration of aum in the cellular system of the body.
• Painting, sketching or simply playing with colours help our mind to calm down.
• Another interesting way to deal with your lows is to write down the issues and the feelings on a paper and tear it off into small pieces.
• Remember that problems are temporary, but suicide is permanent. Taking your own life is never the right solution to any challenge you may be facing. It’s about finding solutions to your problem rather than finding problems to every solution. One must reconcile oneself to one’s strengths and confidence, and be sure of going around the obstacle in his/her path.

Before you go, was there something I could’ve said to make your heart beat better? If only I’d have known you had a storm to weather...

Well, the song Before You Go by Lewis Capaldi makes sense now more than ever.