What do I really want?

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What do I really want?

Sunday, 18 July 2021 | Ajit Kumar Bishnoi

What do I really want?

God's grace is unlimited; we just have to become deserving. Apply yourself in the right ways, writes AJIT KUMAR BISHNOI

The list is long, but as I have experienced quite achievable. I have to just apply myself in the right ways. All the solutions revolve around God. However, they are not at all easy. As I have realised that I must get them, I am prepared/ sworn to do what I must.

The first desire is to be relieved from miserable situations, which forever present themselves. We are born on this earth planet, which has natural miseries like extreme weather conditions and troubles coming from others for various reasons like enviousness. Add to them our bad “karmaphalas”, not so far exhausted results of sinful and impious acts done in the past. All these are a handful. Lord Krishna has warned us in the verse # 2.14 of the Geeta about their coming and going on a regular basis. Neither can they be stopped nor totally negated; the best bet is to reduce them to a bare minimum and tolerate the balance manfully. So what did I do? I looked for solutions and after decades of search zeroed upon the verse # 18.62 of the Bhagavad Gita, in which the Lord has asked us to take His shelter. It is a hard act because our ‘ahankar’ (ego) comes in the way; really obstructs. How can I give up my ahankar — an integral part of me? (7.4) As I was desperate to get a hold over incessant troubles coming my way, I took a hard decision to chip away at my ego.

I accepted that God is different from us very different; He is really unlike us. And I was going to obey God’s instructions, and there was no shame in it, because He is omniscient. And the Gita came in very handy. The beauty of this book of eternal wisdom is that one starts to relate to the instructions given therein. I did too, and began to practice a few of them. I had to be extremely careful because whatever spiritual activities I chose had to somewhat suit my obstinate nature. After all, these acts had to be done day in and day out.

Chanting was the first act and after serious experimentations, I chose “Rama nama”. It was already in my blood with my father being a Hanumanji bhakta and my mother a regular chanter of “Rama”. Reading “Ramacharitsmanas” also helped, because I was assured of sure success by Lord Ramachandra himself. Gradually, I began to get response from God. How else can one go on? We, human beings, who are almost entirely motivated by profit/gain, must get something. But it wasn’t as easy as it sounds, my nature was not giving up so easily. Why should I chant someone else’s name, even though it is God’s. But I persevered keeping the focus on all the benefits I was deriving or going to derive from doing so. But this one activity was not enough; I had to add another, which was a little less strenuous. A most beautiful photo of Lord Krishna in a calendar caught my attention. I just loved to see the Lord’s enchanting face with a half smile. This was God-sent, because looking at someone so beautiful was not such a strain.

While I was doing all these spiritual acts, my Lord was not a mute spectator; He was communicating his messages. He confirmed what I knew from the Gita that He is watching us, listening to us and is aware of what all we are thinking too. (13.2) And the purpose: How he can respond to us; help us; guide us, etc. This was some realisation. God being limitless, and I just a small soul, and, then, he having such interest in my affairs/welfare, converted me. It is no wonder that the expression that God is great is quite common. I can go on, because God’s grace is unlimited; we just have to become deserving.

Bishnoi is a spiritual writer and can be reached at spiritual@ajitbishnoi.com  

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