We must accept that good and bad co-exist

Aren’t we used to complaining about people we have to deal with? It could be a family member or an employer or a neighbor. What did we expect? That we will be brought together with only good people. Lord Krishna has made the position clear in the Geeta. “In this world, there are two types of living beings, possessing either divine or demonic qualities. (16.6) Each person will have either the preponderance of divine or demonic qualities. Some of the divine qualities are purity of heart, charity, austerity, truthfulness, not given to anger, peacefulness, uncomplaining, modesty, hygienic and non-violent. (16.1-3) Demonic qualities are deceitful behaviour, arrogance, sense of being doer, anger, cruelty and ignorance. (16.4)

So, there will be people with dominant bad qualities. They cannot be avoided. Then, what should we do? Reform the bad ones. This is not possible, because everyone has individual nature based on qualities. One will only change when one wants to. This is the reality of life, and complaining gets us nowhere. How do you manage? Firstly, accept that there will be bad people one has to deal with. This is the reality of this world, which is an impermanent place of miseries. (8.15) The other reality is that they won’t change because you wish for them; they are driven by their faulty natures, with which they have been born. Yes, they will change if they have a desire. Till then, you have to live with the fact. Complaining gives us heartache and takes us away from finding a solution, which is to find ways to deal with them. There will be some ways to do so, because no one will have one hundred percent bad qualities, as we don’t have one hundred present good qualities. By accepting them as they are is a good beginning. And we should abandon hopes of seeing them punished, because that is in the domain of the divine authority. Lastly, pray to God, because God can change hearts. Yes, God has such a power, and He does exercise it for the benefit of His devotees.

Same goes for miseries, which will surely come. Lord Krishna has made this very clear in the Geeta, when He stated, “The contact between senses and their objects are givers of cold, heat, pleasures, and misery. They, being temporary, come and go; tolerate them (2.14) And we know that we cannot avoid contact between our senses and their objects. What will give relief is not to get agitated or complain about them when sufferings do come, but use superior intelligence to do something about them. (2.56) What is this intelligence? Follow the wise counsel of Lord Krishna when He stated, “One, whose eating and recreation are appropriate; who strives appropriately in activities; who sleeps and stays awake, as required.” (6.17) This will reduce suffering. Because no one can escape suffering in this material world. However, all sufferings are temporary only. Lord Krishna has guided on ways to reduce and transcend it.

Honour and dishonour are also similar; they come and go. In the verse 14.24, Lord Krishna encourages us not to get disturbed when criticism comes, which will surely come. Complaining about it is surely a sign of being disturbed. We should rather aim for equanimity in honour and dishonour; we will become dear to God. (12.18)

Complaining is a very serious drawback unless it is occasional venting and expression, which may help in minimising stress reactions. It is toxic not only to self but also to others around, if it is habitually done. It reinforces negativity, which takes us away from positivity—our desired goal.

( Bishnoi is a spiritual writer. The views expressed are personal.)