We live in a world where women journalists are first excluded from an event covering a significant diplomatic dialogue, and then, when there is a ripple of indignation against the perversion, a “correction” is made — one that jars more than it gels with the modern women’s narrative we have been copiously fed with. We live in a world where a man, a surgeon in Bangalore, murders his new wife, herself a doctor, for a reason that shows utter disregard for life and human decency. The police surmise that he was upset about the woman’s multiple health issues, which were allegedly kept under wraps by her parents before the marriage. His anger resulted in an act that not only ended a life but also tore open the raw, unspoken tensions that surround the life of a woman in our society. We live in a world where discussions and debates about women’s parity with their male counterparts have grown loud; yet their autonomy over their bodies and their choices over their destinies remain open to appraisal, critique, and, at times, deadly punishment.
The indignities may differ — from exclusion at a press conference to the ultimate violation of the right to life — but the underlying pattern is the same. Women have yet to secure their authority, their voice, and vindication from a society that is ready to talk but reluctant to fully abide by what it says. I am not sure if it is my imagination or certainty, but there are several things that still linger in the shadows of a woman’s world. How often have we heard open, unrestrained conversations about what women truly want in their lives, beyond equality in workspaces or freedom from patriarchal dynamics and stereotyping? No, it is not all about heading boardrooms and making their opinion count alone. It is also about how they are treated in the bedrooms — how their wounds and whispers are received. It is also about what they want from their relationships — as a partner, a mother, a daughter. It is about their freedom to express their desires, their longings, their right to preserve emotional dignity, their need for sacred intimacy rather than coerced surrender.
I say “sacred intimacy” because women are still too rarely asked about their preferences, too rarely offered choices, too rarely given the freedom to say “no” or to insist. It is still largely a man’s world, folks — especially in matters of the heart, mind, and body. Why are these inconsistencies so intrinsic to our societal fabric that even honest discussions about a woman’s happiness — emotional, psychological, and physical — remain deferred or dismissed? Why does shame still cling to women’s instincts and needs? Why is domestic violence tolerated, and why is marital rape still unacknowledged, condemning women to servitude under their husbands’ whims? Millions of women hold back unspilled tears — many in corporate suits and cars — having fought only half the battle. Their inner lives remain cloistered, their wounds unhealed. Yes, progress deserves recognition, but the celebration of empowerment is premature.
Women must not be afterthoughts. Their dreams deserve space to breathe. No woman wants to be a Devi — only to be seen, not sanctified.
The writer is a Dubai-based author, columnist and children’s writing coach
