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Address your own weakness first
All human beings are born unique, each reflecting varying mind-trends. No wonder, each of us carries individual-specific beliefs and desire trends. Also, levels of intelligence, perceptive and comprehensive abilities, likes and dislikes, prejudices and obsessions, habits and attitudes, virtues and attributes vary from person-to-person. In fact, all of us are born with a preconditioned mind, which naturally finds reflection in our usual conduct. Our Ahamkara (egotistical mind) ignorantly takes our mental predisposition as a part of one’s identity and accordingly makes them defining principles of life. As no two persons could ever be born similar, not even twins, how we respond or react to a particular situation will vary from person to person. Given this background, the world becomes a natural breeding ground of conflict of thoughts and interests.
No wonder, conflict is in evidence within family and even in the society at large. Yet, we need to be in accord with all those around, transgressing all individualistic limitations. For, being an inseparable part of a unified organism that the world is, we can’t afford to live in isolation, if at all we wish to have a smooth run of life. The paradox, however, is that given the sense of freedom ingrained in our minds, we usually wish to live exclusively on our own terms, often not caring for others’ sensibilities and concerns. Of late, as academic awareness has been growing, even one’s egos have been on the rise, as if one would have become all-knowing. Ostensibly, therefore, people are becoming more and more impatient and intolerant by the day. Consequently, marital separations are on the rise, and even conflicts on the world stage have been growing beyond proportion.
The other day, someone came seeking my counsel on when to file his divorce petition, and whether it is worth going for another marriage. “Well, when you have already decided to seek divorce, what’s the point in looking for my advice? Do you just wish to get your decision vetted by me?” I countered him. “She doesn’t have any concern for value system and sense of morality is why it is difficult to get along with her.” He tried to justify himself. “Well, possibly the terms you have set for the value system and sense of morality is your perception, according as your preconditioned mind has guided you, which could be illusionary. Remember, nobody is ever born a perfect, not even you. Then what justifies being judgmental about others and that too by your self-defined standards?” I confronted him.
Elaborating further, I suggested that marriage is always convergence of two corresponding opposites. Purposely so as to complement and supplement each other’s voids, and together make a wholesome life. This is the premise on which institution of marriage stands. Also, remember that if there are shortcomings in a person, the positives in him shall be certainly more. In our egotistical hang, however, we get stuck to few negatives of others, when their positives just get sidelined. I don’t know what your partner’s personality traits are. But looking at your personality trends, it is clear that your habits and attitudes have contributed enough to knock down marital stability. The worst to suffer in the process will be your kids, and for no fault of theirs. Unless you address your own inherent weaknesses, this marriage or any other later will not work. Look at the astrological pointers to your habit tendencies.
Born with Gemini lagna, with fiery Mars posited there itself, implies that you wish to live exclusively on your own terms, and would not care for others’ sensibilities or concerns. “My way or highway seems to be your attitude.” You just wish to have yes persons around. It becomes difficult for you to digest anybody holding a view at variance with yours. In such situation you are susceptible to become aggressive. Emotionally driven Venus is not simply combust, but also conjunct restive Rahu. It speaks loud of your volatile emotionality. You get over exercised even on trivial issues, take it to your heart, and stretch on beyond due. Lagna lord Mercury ill-disposed off to Uranus makes you eccentric, opinionated and tactless. Jupiter too locking horns with Uranus makes you headstrong and rebellious. You may exaggerate even a trivial issue a lot. If that would not be enough, mischievous Neptune is placed adverse to mind-signifying Moon and Karmic Saturn.
That makes you self-deluding, inhibitive, moody, and habitually suspicious of everybody and anybody. And the result is there to see. You don’t deserve to find fault with others before addressing your own self-deluding tendencies.
The writer is an astrologer, vastu consultant and spiritual counsellor. Write to him atG-102, Bharat Nagar, New Friends Colony, New Delhi – 110 025
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