Human relationships are infinitely complex and tricky to manage, and hence they need immense patience, understanding, acceptance, acknowledgement, and engagement. There is a well-known saying that we see things not as they are but as we are. While our physical eyes see everything and everyone the same way, it is actually the thoughts and feelings that accompany the act of seeing that form an impression in the mind about what we are seeing. So, if our feelings are light and pure, we feel the same way about everything we see.
On the other hand, if we are in a negative frame of mind, we might perceive things negatively. It is a known fact that we easily develop bad feelings or negative attitudes towards others when we focus on, and keep thinking about, their faults. In fact, most of us are well experienced in this, aren’t we? The simplest way to get out of this is to think only about the things we like in that person, and soon our feelings will start to change.
In short, focusing our mind on positive qualities automatically frees us from negativity. Most people are caught up in their own lives and their problems, which, to them, are big issues.
But if we look at the larger picture, we realise that what we spend so much of our time and energy on is really a trifle in the journey of our life and even more insignificant in relation to the events unfolding on the huge stage of the world, or the universe.
Remember! It is up to us whether to have a universal attitude towards everything or a narrow attitude that makes our life miserable. It is up to us how we take the little inconveniences we face in daily life, or the problems that crop up in relationships. We can either keep thinking about them, making them into big issues and ending up feeling burdened, frustrated, angry, or depressed or we can see them in the right perspective and deal with them in the best way we can, without letting them affect our state of mind. Such an attitude helps us remain stable in the face of all the challenges that life brings our way.
It also helps those around us, as it enables us to rise above self-centred or selfish ways of thinking and to think of the universal good. This influences our behaviour and helps us build strong relationships. One with such an outlook becomes a good team worker, able to adjust to the nature of others and work with all kinds of people. Such a person will also appreciate the good qualities of others and learn from them.
They would be free of jealousy, able to hear praise of others, and take advice and criticism in the right spirit without getting upset. Because such a person can deal with all kinds of situations with a stable mind, they would be trusted with responsibility and be a source of strength for others.
And since they are never caught up in small issues and always look at the big picture, others will also have faith in their impartial judgement. Such a person would be a unifying figure in any group or organisation, and would not fall into the trap of forming or aligning with divisive cliques or factions. Such are the wonderful benefits of bringing about a simple change in our consciousness.
Now — it is up to us whether to change for our own good, or remain confused, unhappy, and depressed.
The author is a popular columnist and a spiritual teacher
