We can only be happy if we recognise the importance of joy in our lives and direct all our actions towards achieving it, says Dr Awdhesh Singh

We are the most blessed generation in the history of human race. Never before, has there been so much material prosperity, freedom of thoughts and opportunities available to people. Even an ordinary person today possesses items of luxury, like car, air-conditioners, televisions, computers and mobile phones, which were available only to the rich class a generation ago. However, despite all the prosperity, the modern generation is perhaps the unhappiest generation of all time.  It is suffering from poor health, obesity, stress at the work place and poor relationships with their friends and family.

Let us try to find out what is making people unhappy in the present times.

Pursuit of Success

We often associate happiness with success. We are happy if we succeed in achieving, else we feel unhappy. Associating success with happiness is a trap that takes away your happiness since you can’t always achieve success. Even when you become successful, you set a new and higher parameter of success till you are no more able to achieve it. Thus you tend to make your life miserable despite so many successes in your life. In order to achieve happiness, we must keep our expectations realistic and attainable. Let us learn to seek only what is needed and be content. This will ensure lasting happiness in our life.

Habit of Comparison

Our mind is conditioned from the childhood that we must be better than others. Even when we grow up, we keep comparing ourselves to others and become unhappy when we come across a more successful person. Jack Canfield, the co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series explains, ‘I generally find that comparison is the fast track to unhappiness. No one ever compares themselves to someone else and comes out even. Nine times out of ten, we compare ourselves to people who are somehow better than us and end up feeling more inadequate.’

We must learn to appreciate and focus on what we have rather than what others have. If we avoid comparisons, we can make our life happier.

Materialism

Most rich people value themselves not on the basis of their human qualities, but on the basis of what they have. They seek more wealth in the hope that it would make give them happiness. When that does not happen, they seek even more wealth in life and work even harder. They become part of the rat race that never ends, nor do they ever enjoy life. Instead, we must earn only as much as necessary and make money only a means to good life and not an end. We must learn to derive happiness in non-material things like love, friendship, reading, writing, music, arts and so on, which do not need much money.

External Validation

Most people seek happiness in wealth, power, reputation and fame, which depends on others. They feel happy when they are appreciated and unhappy when others criticise them. The happiness of such people is always dependent upon others whom they always try to please. However, as they say, ‘You can’t please all people all the time’. These rarely find happiness since some people are always critical of them.

Instead, we must try to discover happiness within. If we know ourselves well and identify our passion, we can live life according to our nature and discover the source of joy within. Hence, no one can take our happiness from since its source is within us.

It is possible to be happy if we recognise the importance of happiness in our life and direct all our actions towards achieving happiness. Aristotle has said it wisely, “Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.”

Dr Singh is the author of 31 Ways to Happiness