Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not who someone else is today
With the advent of the adoption of the so-called Western culture, many of us especially the youth have never developed a relationship with ourselves for it was neither modelled in families nor it was ever encouraged. Moreover, stepping out of the family, popular culture movies, media and literature also made an individual aware that one needs to prioritize building relations with others and not with selves. But having a healthy relationship with self is the cornerstone of happiness and forms the foundation.
Today, perfectionism and self-comparison have been heightened by social media. It has been damaging to one’s mental health, as the person is guaranteed to compare self with others who are doing better at something over time. And the loneliness and despair that can lie underneath a bright smile and successful life can be hidden. When an individual struggles with self-comparison, they are actually dealing with envy – which is a universal emotion. It happens when someone wants to have something that others have but can’t have due to several factors such as time, money, experience and a lot many.
Though it is inherently normal, too much can cause a person to engage in self-destructive behaviours such as making excessive efforts to change self in ways that will ultimately destroy a person’s personal well-being, health and authenticity. Negative self-comparison is essentially a losing game of competing against anyone but yesterday’s version of the individual.
Instead of obsessing over ways to change oneself or be like others, one should count upon the blessings that the lord has bestowed upon one; give several reminders to selves that they are beautiful, smart and have wonderful qualities instead of envying or getting the feeling of jealousy. The person must follow the path of admiration for admiration is on the positive end of the comparison spectrum. When an individual admires other people's qualities, they too want to improve themselves. Shifting the focus to taking inspiration from others rather than self-degrading through comparison is a game changer so that the individual can be proud of the fact that they are improving, regardless of how others are doing.
Remember, a person should set the standards so that nothing can compete with them.
It does take work, but the person does get there. When people put others into their categories, they greet their confusion with compassion. In learning to cultivate self-awareness, self-acceptance and self-compassion, a person unlocks the opportunity to fully embrace individual beauty and uniqueness.
The mind is powerful and one must use it to their advantage and focus on their journey rather than being in comparison to others. Comparison and negativity bias are hard-wired into the brains as survival mechanisms as they often cripple an individual by moving forward. In conclusion, as we navigate the complexities of modern society influenced by Western culture, it is crucial to recognize the importance of fostering a relationship with oneself. The pervasive emphasis on external validation, fueled by societal norms and amplified by social media, has led many to overlook the significance of internal well-being. The prevalent culture of perfectionism and self-comparison has not only taken a toll on mental health but has also obscured the genuine struggles that individuals may be facing behind seemingly successful facades.
To break free from the damaging cycle of self-comparison, it is essential to shift the focus from external standards to internal growth and self-appreciation. Rather than succumbing to envy, individuals should celebrate their unique qualities, acknowledging that true fulfillment comes from within.
(The writer is an educator, views are personal)
