I have spent enough of time and energy pursuing someone I loved. I found lot of positives in him is why I was after him. Initially he responded well. But he ultimately ran away. Now, I feel miserable. You had cautioned me when I last consulted you. But my gut feeling told me that the positives in him would override his negatives and will finally come back to me. Is my destiny so bad that my wishes won’t get fulfilled. Will I ever be able to get a good partner in life in near future, for which I am craving? Kindly guide me how to go about.” Someone totally distraught because of wrong choice made, asked me the other day.
Everybody born into this world comes with both positives and negatives, coming as they may as Karmic carryover from the past. Both sides run concurrently. I agree, he is a potential guy who built a good career as would career signifying Moon rising over the head when born mean. It is further aided by the 10th sub-lord Saturn posited in the 11th house, placed in the nakshatra owned by 11th lord Sun identified with fulfilment of desires.
As already indicated, his outward demeanour may apparently look refined, as would Mercury well aligned to Neptune mean. His inner frame of mind, however, vital to inter-personal relationship skills, is simply weird. You were already aware of his two failed marriages. You still chased him blindly. Look at his astrological pointers. The Sun is placed adverse to Saturn and Neptune. In the first place, it would mean the seeds of fear and insecurity deeply imbedded in his being. He would have a negative mind set, habitually suspicious of others. He would be self-pitying and a pessimist. He would enjoy vicarious pleasure by hurting others. Second, he would be an escapist stuck to his illusionary perceptions and belief. The moment he is confronted with contrarian views, instead of trying to find an answer, he may just run away. Mars placed adverse to Neptune indicates that he suffers from inferiority complex, which he would try to camouflage with his invented sense of confidence and outward appearance. Mars opposite Venus makes him self-indulgent. Since Venus is the lagna lord and Mars is the 7th lord identified with partner, it will be difficult for him to hold on to a relationship for long. Venus placed adverse to Neptune doesn’t speak good of his reputation either. Also, He will not be able to manage his finance well. Saturn placed adverse to Neptune makes him inhibited and self-deluding. On top of that, lagna sub-lord Ketu occupying the lunar constellation owned by Rahu makes him out and out a material person, who, given an opportunity will try to exploit others. This time, you became a victim. The result is there to see.
Even more important is to know, why you fell into his trap. You got tricked by your own mind that made you believe your desire being gut feeling. Also, love can’t be cultivated. If it is to happen, it comes about spontaneously, which knows no logic. You were just clinging to the man, expecting spending pleasant time in his company. There was no love from either side. The other guy was just enjoying your company in passing. You are born in Aries lagna. That makes you impulsive, who will jump into action without applying proper forethought. The lagna lord Mars occupying a fixed sign Aquarius, read together with the Sun also there, makes you a stubborn guy, not open to listening or counsel, unless pushed to the wall. Venus ill-disposed off to Uranus makes you vulnerable to get into unconventional relationship, ignoring ground realities. Moon posited adverse to Mercury makes you restless, which doesn’t allow you the time and space necessary for due diligence. Moon also placed adverse to both Jupiter and Saturn makes you vulnerable to go through alternating phase of optimism and pessimism.
It may not be out of place to mention here that birds have two wings to fly, the two in balance with each other. Similarly, human beings have been provided with two tools – reason and emotion – to lead one’s life. Too much guided by the head may make you just mechanical. And overawed by emotions, one may go crazy. We need to balance out the two for a smooth run of life. It is not that you lack the sense of reason. But you need to learn to balance emotion and reason, and tomorrow will be yours.
The writer is an astrologer, vastu consultant
and spiritual counsellor. Connect with him at