We have often heard that a child needs both parents. Mother and father both inculcate their unique qualities in a child which is required for his or her healthy upbringing.

However, rising divorce cases in India have impacted lives of countless children who are deprived of one of the parents because of disputes between the couple. The childhood of lacs of children is being compromised amidst ego battles of litigating parents.

Absence of either parent can cause long term trauma that can impact the entire life of an individual. While a child suffers the most in such litigations, the parent which is deprived of access also goes through immense pain and legal ordeal to even get a glimpse of their child. More often than not, this parent is a FATHER.

Parental Alienation is a process where one parent influences a child to unjustifiably reject or fear the other parent. It is an issue that is extremely under reported and struggle and pain of fathers who are alienated from their kids is a story very seldom told Ekam Nyaay Foundation thus conducted a research survey to understand the growing issue of Parental Alienation in India, with a special focus on the difficulties faced by fathers in child custody and visitation disputes.

This study, carried out over a period of two months, collected responses from across the country, with significant participation from metro and tier-II cities. Total number of fathers who participated were 108. The primary aim was to explore how alienating behaviors affect children and targeted parents, and to document the emotional, legal, and procedural hurdles encountered by fathers.

Through the Report Ekam Nyaay approached and highlighted the the biased premise of Sec 6 of Hindu Minority & Guardianship Act which grants the custody to mother by default in case the child is below 5 years. It has been noted that once the custody is granted in favour of mother the father spends years of his life running from courts to courts and meanwhile the nascent years of the child’s infancy is lost. Resultantly the child grows up in absence of father defeating the entire concept of custody petition of the father.

Fathers across India face prolonged separations from their children, bias in custody decisions, non-compliance with court-ordered visitation, false legal cases, and emotional distress due to alienation tactics.

In many cases, fathers are forced into years of legal battles, while crucial early years of a child’s life are lost. This research was initiated to gather evidence on how deeply these issues are affecting families. This research emphasizes that such manipulation leads to severe emotional harm to both children and fathers, often without any legitimate cause.

Key observations from the research showcased that:

• 88% of the respondents had been married for 15 years or less, showing that these disputes arise mostly during the early parenting years

• 78% of the affected children are below 10 years old, indicating the formative years are most impacted

• 61% of fathers have been separated from their children for less than five years, while 16.7% for 5–10 years

• Only 25% of fathers who approached courts were granted visitation rights. Even when granted, orders are often not followed.

Painful case studies showcase how despite getting visitation rights , most fathers have to go through extreme difficulties to get the court orders implemented. The only remedy a father has in situations where visitation has been granted but the custodial parent which is mother does not follow court order, is to file contempt of court application. However, in several such cases, these violations of court orders are not taken seriously and the mother is often let off without even a warning. Internationally, there have been several examples where courts shifted custody arrangements due to Parental Alienation but Indian Courts are yet to take this problem seriously.

A common complaint that emerges is that courts undermine the importance of fathers in the life of children because of which they do not take parental alienation seriously. One of the fathers in the study shared how his contact with his beloved son was blocked all of a sudden and he has not seen his child for the past six months, he has been completely cut off from his child. His wife suddenly blocked all communication and he fears if he will see his child again. He expressed deep emotional distress, saying he misses his son constantly and considers him his reason for living. He approached police because litigation in court had not yet started and he thought they could help but police refused.

A reality in this case and many is that when these fathers approach police for slightest humanly approach to let them see their child, police often refuses to help at all. Though custody matters are entirely in domain of courts, attitude of police officers differ

immensely when a father approaches them vs when mothers approach them. There have been cases where police went extra miles to get the mother to see the child and even booking fathers in case of kidnapping.

The father mentioned above said that he feels emotionally overwhelmed and thinks of extreme steps due to the ongoing trauma of being separated from his son and the lack of support from the system.

In another heart wrenching story shared by an alienated father in the report - A father applied for visitation rights for his child suffering from severe medical condition five months ago but the court has not granted him any access to meet his son. Five months may seem less to someone but for a parent, everyday away from their child feels like eternity. A lot of fathers are deprived access to their child for years. In many cases, they are not allowed to meet the children even if they have paid maintenance regularly and contributed immensely to the child’s upbringing when the couple was together.

While the society wants men to be more involved in caring and upbringing of children, a lot of fathers who participated in this survey have been denied their fatherhood despite being a total hands on father for their child, just because their marriage didn’t work out.

This study emphasizes the importance of shared parenting and how fathers cannot be reduced to a visiting entity in the life of their own kids. Our law makers and judiciary should be sensitive to the pain of fathers too.

Writer is an Independent Journalist & Social Activist working on men’s rights. She is heading the NGO Ekam Nyaay Foundation