In all fights and all wars that have taken place in the world, whoever has fought has people behind them saying and believing one thing: ‘I am right’. Those who feel that they are wrong can never really fight. Ask all those countries that are at war, and both sides will say that they are right with great emphasis.

To what degree is righteousness useful, and where does it become harmful? When you get stuck in your position, when you aren’t ready to see beyond it, then your sense of righteousness could be erroneous. You may even miss witnessing this fact because your sense of righteousness depends on your perception, and perceptions change constantly.

When you don’t realise what causes righteousness, then you become adamant, arrogant, close-minded, and uncommunicative. This is when you start shrinking. Your ability to know and learn, as well as your relationships with people, start to be affected.

What can you do then? Become skilful in your communication. Be a good listener. Listening not just to words, but also to feelings and expressions. Have you observed babies? They listen to expressions and gestures. Even without understanding words, they communicate with you. Somewhere in the journey of life, we have lost this ability. Let’s attempt to regain it.

Do you have an open mind or a closed mind? A closed mind says, ‘This is how it is, I know it, and that is it.’ An open mind says, ‘Maybe, perhaps. I do not know.’ Whenever you seem to understand a situation and you label it, ‘I know this is how it is,’ that is the beginning of your problem.

Keep your mind open to all possibilities! Then you learn to wait. You develop patience to discover the truth.

You should be skilful in conveying what you think. Self-righteousness comes in the way of smooth communication. Good communication skills come with heightened awareness, and meditation improves your awareness.

Once a devotee asked me, “Gurudev, it’s easy to see the wrong in others. What can show me the mirror?” I said, when you want to really see your shortcomings and work on them, anything can become your mirror.

Your mind is responsible for your bondage and your freedom. The very willingness to see your mistakes will make you take note of them in every situation you go through. But when you refuse to see your shortcomings, nobody can help you. You must be willing, and you must break down the wall of defence you put up all the time.

 Self-righteousness is the first thing one should get rid of when one wants to see one's shortcomings. It is a delicate balance in life. On one side are the self-righteous people, and on the other are people who doubt themselves. These are two extremes. Self-doubt is as much a hindrance as self-righteousness.

Once self-doubt creeps in, you start blaming yourself. This is another problem. Hence, you have to take the middle path where you honour the sense of righteousness, and at the same time, you aren’t stuck in it, and you aren’t closed-minded. You are open to learning, you are open to listening.

Self-righteousness is a cause of misery! Many people become miserable, thinking they are very good. When you think you are very good, you find others aren’t as good as you. This is the formula for anger, hatred, and self-pity to spring up.

Self-pity is the worst thing. People who pity themselves are ready to hate others. They have prepared themselves to hate others. You think, ‘Oh! I am so good. I am so dedicated. I am so efficient. Or, I am this and that, and others are not like me.’ Well, you have begun the journey towards misery and hate.

Nobody is the cause of your misery. There is a beautiful proverb in Sanskrit, ‘Kashtasya sukhasya nakopi data’. There is no giver of misery or happiness. It is your own making. Here, your own identification and self-righteousness are the cause of your misery.

When you think you are very good, you fail to recognise your shortcomings. When you fail to see your shortcomings, there is no way for your growth. This gives rise to arrogance, and you become incommunicative.

Don’t sit and analyse yourself too much. Be spontaneous and keep moving forward. Once in a while, it is good to analyse, but not every day. It can give rise to two situations: one is that it will make you feel you are very righteous. Oh! See, I am always good. The sense of self-righteousness invites anger. Have you observed angry people? All angry people on this planet have this sense of righteousness — ‘I am right.’

The second situation is, suppose you find that you aren’t right, it will give rise to a sense of guilt. In this case, too, who suffers the most? If you are right, you suffer because you feel everybody is unjust; and if you are wrong, then too you suffer because you are guilty, and it eats you up from within. Your guilt becomes another botheration. Hence, the best is to just let it be and let it go.

The purpose of yoga and spirituality is to stop the misery that is about to come before it comes. Suppose you get angry when you think you are right and others are wrong. What to do? Freeze your intellect. As soon as you freeze your intellect, you have a meditative experience. Now, how to freeze your intellect? Hold your breath for just a few seconds, then continue breathing. This technique immediately offers you a transcendental feeling.

The intellect fuels the emotions. It is your intellect that tells you, ‘Oh! I am better than you.’ The intellect convinces you of your superiority. Hence, when you freeze your intellect for a while, you also pause your anger. Offer all good and bad, everything, every action to the divine. This is called ‘Sharanagati’. If you are right, offer your righteousness to the divine. If you have committed a mistake, accept it and offer it to the divine.

Here, you say, ‘Through my words, my body, and through my senses, whatever I have done, or I am doing, I offer everything to the divine!’ When you have offered the good and the bad, everything, to the divine, you become hollow and empty. You become free. When you become free, love blossoms in your life. If you aren’t free, love doesn’t blossom. Virtues don’t manifest.

Walk the middle path. Don’t identify yourself with self-righteousness or wrongdoing. This is the way to happiness.