Reflecting on women’s roles through AI-generated poetry
Another day of juggling job, school, home, kids, family, doctors - just for amusement, I asked an AI pilot, “What if I had a wife?” AI, being the sensitive, nurturing programme/ creature they are (not sure about AI gender!), apparently found the query profoundly existential and wrote me a poem. They must have thought prose too plebian to answer such solemn probes as we faithfully execute every year on March 8. This 8th, I will do my annual reflection using the AI verses, wistfully wishing women’s issues would be resolved with the vigour AI is moving- faster than the speed of light. AI version 2024; Verse 1:
“Women suffer because they do not have wives to serve them
They have to juggle work and home and often feel overwhelmed
They have to cook and clean and care for and sometimes face abuse
They have to smile and nod and bear and sometimes feel confused.”
What are my expectations of my wife? Raised in India by a working mom, surrounded by a posse of grandmas, aunts, and cousins, married, and not working, I had plenty of real-life references to organically form my expectations even before I could read. I knew this verse by heart, then, even if not the exact words.
Multiple intersecting factors shaped my women kin’s choices and agency over those options: barriers, aplenty, pervaded systems, structures, cultures, and thoughts. Sending sons to school was automatic. Sending a daughter was a choice. Good housekeeping was the top merit, even of working women. My mom struggled to keep a good house while raising kids and handling an executive job, as my dad was posted miles away on his job. He got to be on his own. He was not my mom’s wife!
AI version 2024; Verse 2:
“But what if women had wives too, who would share their load
Who would support and comfort them and walk the same road
Who would respect and value them and treat them as equals
Who would love and cherish them and see them as individuals?”
I have a terrible case of FOMO when I see my male colleagues coming for their courses with their wives, who care for everything for them as they singularly focus on their coursework. I cook, clean, shop, and look after kids while maintaining my grades, and it can be a struggle sometimes. For reconciliation, this is my choice. My husband is the epitome of support, but he is far. He is not my wife!
I wish I had a wife to care for my children when my boss expected me to stay in the office after office hours, as that was the dogma. He would frequently walk across my chamber to check whether I stayed. I lost a few points in my annual review because I could not remain in the office till the stars were out. My wife would have taken care of the kids, and kept the stove warm, as I took care of my boss’s need to look and feel productive by overstaying in the office.
Women often face more significant difficulties than men in balancing their work and family responsibilities. A very recent example bears it. The COVID-19 pandemic has had a disproportionate impact on women’s economic empowerment and gender equality, as women have faced higher job losses, increased unpaid care work, and greater exposure to health and safety risks. Post-COVID, women are finding accessing decent work and social protection, especially in the informal sector, where women are overrepresented and have less access to benefits and rights, difficult. Women rarely participate in decision-making and leadership for the future, as they are underrepresented in the sectors and institutions shaping recovery, such as health, science, technology, and finance. Violence against women escalated during the pandemic, as men needed stress release and access to services and support, already scant, almost disappeared during lockdowns.
I wish I had a wife, as by assumption, I would be a man then (sorry for not being inclusive here and taking the binary route). Then, I would dominate the world, be the majority on the boards and committees, and lead all the countries of the world, with very few exceptions. I could be assertive in the official meetings, even belligerent, without inviting comments like,” Imagine her husband’s plight!” I would uproariously dissect politics, the economy, and find ways to end world hunger at office parties and shush if a lady officer wandered our way. Patronising would come so naturally to me, as there are so few women at higher levels that we have not had much experience with norming their presence in our circles.
Studies suggest women who display leadership qualities may be seen as too aggressive, bossy, or unfeminine. In contrast, women prioritising family or caregiving may be seen as less committed, competent, or ambitious.
AI version 2024; Verse 3:
“The answer is not simple, for every woman is unique
Some may prefer to have wives; some may prefer to seek.”
I am stuck by the profundity of the meaning behind this juvenile attempt at rhyme as AI intuits that women can choose to have wives. If poverty is a lack of choice, women are frequently poor. And I chuckle at what AI thinks of the fate of women who do not prefer to have wives; they prefer to seek- female Tulsidas’es in the making!
AI version 2024; Verse 4:
“Women suffer because they do not have wives to serve them But maybe women suffer more because they do not serve themselves.”
We, women, have come far from being shoved to burn on the pyres of our husbands, burnt as witches, stoned for adultery, having to produce four witnesses for rape, being invisible behind veils, facing harassment- sexual or otherwise at home and work…well, no, sadly, not all of them. However, the world has made substantial progress in ensuring women’s rights, giving them significant voice and choices relating to their being. Going by the final verse, we may start creating spaces, and voices, and choices for us, instead of waiting for men to concede.
If you ask me (and not AI) the one thing to focus on this 8th, I will say we must start with the young and impressionable. We may not be able to transform the gender-normative milieu any time soon. Still, we can counter the toxic influences of the status quo by providing quality and gender-responsive education that respects diversity and fosters social-emotional skills. We must teach children about the history and struggle of women’s movements and achieving the partial success and challenges of gender equality. Promote positive and respectful relationships among peers of all sexes within a safe and supportive environment. Parents, families, communities, and nations must come together to recognise, challenge, and change gender stereotypes and support girls’ education and empowerment.
Do you wonder if AI is a woman? I know God is.
(Dr Mrinalini Darswal, IAS, is a physician, an economist and a public health graduate from Harvard. She is trained in AI and Machine Learning; views are personal)
