Begin by addressing one fear at a time as getting out of any fear, especially deeply ingrained ones like death, is difficult, writes AJIT KUMAR BISHNOI

Why do I say thisIJ Because we live with too many fears. This compromises the quality of our lives to a great extent. The next logical question will be: why don’t we get rid of themIJ We want to but the habit of getting anxious is very difficult to cure. Because it is deeply ingrained in our psyche. We try to get rid of one worry/fear, the mind picks up another from a group of many fears, some of them linked together like what if I die, what will happen to my family members, how much pain I will have to endure, etc. And some fears are independent of one another like what if our children don’t do well in studies, etc.

The most common fears are as follows. I have already mentioned death, which is the most debilitating. We know that death is inevitable but we don’t want to die, and the thought of death keeps on crossing our minds when we are seriously sick or someone of our age known to us passes away. Going for someone’s cremation really shakes us about our own death looming somewhere in the future.

Diseases are similarly scary. It is Dengue season and we get worried about the menace of mosquitoes. The extent of fearing and the reason vary from person to person but no one is exempt from the fault of fearing. Not that fearing is all bad but when it takes away our peace of mind, then, it hurts, and something needs to be done. I must point out here that being cautious — an acceptable version of fearing is necessary to save us from many problems.

Then, comes fear about family and friends, their well-being and likely separation. Being able to maintain self is another worry for most. likely material losses are not far behind. loss of livelihood is a related fear. Then, there is the fear of failure, defeat, etc. Getting humiliated, this possibility is a major worry. Demotion is another serious concern. Similar is the loss of face. And, lastly, violation of law if one is in the habit of doing that and consequent loss of freedom really scares us.

What, then, is the solutionIJ There is just not one solution; we need to do a lot to get some relief, and not only do so but keep at it as long as we live. To begin with, we should jot down all the different fears, which affect us. Don’t leave any fear howsoever insignificant you feel that is because they all add up to make us miserable. There is no shame if the list is long, this being the starting point. If one is not honest with oneself, he or she is not going to succeed in solving this highly painful problem. And the list should be continuously updated leaving out what does not scare us anymore and adding what makes us anxious.

Having done this exercise, we are ready to tackle this very serious problem. One should begin by addressing one fear at a time because getting out of any fear, especially deeply ingrained ones like death is very difficult. One needs a lot of guidance, lots of discussions with knowledgeable and spiritually wise people till we are satisfied. One needs spiritual intelligence, which means we must acquaint ourselves with God’s instructions by reading scriptures like the Bhagavad Gita.

Then, we come to developing a strong connection with God. This is crucial because, ultimately, it is God, who can remove our fears. As we experience positive results, our faith will increase and we will be on our way to a peaceful existence — different from being afflicted by fears and worries. We need enormous patience in this journey. A big dose of tolerance is necessary too. Acceptance of reality is another quality we must develop. We must always be focused on what we can do rather than worry about the likely results. Mind control is a critical requirement, as is the realisation that we are souls. And, lastly, we must accept the theory of ‘karmaphala’ wholeheartedly, ie we reap what we sow.

This process is a long haul as pointed out earlier. Even with this we will not be able to get rid of all the fears, which is not desirable also because a totally fearless person is likely to become reckless and harm himself. Keep on reminding the self of all the solutions suggested in order not to forget them. This is a lifelong exercise.

Bishnoi is a spiritual writer and can be reached at spiritual@ajitbishnoi.com